Today's the day ;

well , todaayyy's the day we'vee been waiting for ; MAY FIRST 2010 ; this day is going to be really hard ; feels like im waiting too have hhim , all ova again ): never thought it would be this hard ; but its two in the morning , an i cant even go too sleep , an i havee too be up early in the morning , so we can get everythiinng readyy an get all the stuff we need for Anthony's first birthhday ; i cant believe he's alreadyy ONE ; i never thought it would go by this fast ;; i wonder if he would be crawling right now , talking ? walking ? so many questions that i wish could be answered , but never will be ): thats the hard part of it too , not having your questions answered ; i'm not readyy for all of this ; i'm terrified ; an dont know what im going too doo ; im going too break down , in front of everybody , an thats not something i want too do ; i hope everythhing goes perfect ; we're picking the cake up at noon tomorrow ; an im going too take picturesss of everything , so the wonderful friends i have on here can see what a wonderful birthday parttyyy we had for Anthony ; i wishhh i had an Anencephaly mother down here ; so she could tell me how things went for her baby's first birthdayyy partyyy ; i wish Anthony's headstone would be up for his birthday , but unfortantly , its not ): an the cemetery toook his marker ; which wasnt right , i wish something was there so thatt everybody would see juss where he was ; you cann still see , but there should atleast be a marker or something there ;; they are some hateful people ; i'm hopeing by next year , we'll havee his headstone up ; (: im going on an on bout everything , im so stressed out ; an scared ;

ONE MORE DAY , TILL THE BIG DAY;

it's only one more day away ; an its tooo soon ; i'm not ready , i'm scared ; it's so stressful ; i dont think i will beable too sleep at night ; its like im having him all ova again ; I wanna say thank you too some peoplle ;
An the first person I would have too Thank would be ,
Tony(: ; - baby , i want too say THANK YOU for everything ; an iloveyouwithallmyheart an i wouldnt know what too doo without you ; i'm glad Anthony has such a wonderful daddy like you ; your always there for me , an i wouldn't beable too do this without yooou ; iloveyoubaby(: <3
Amber ; - Thank you girl ; your always there when all these harsh people wanna talk about Anthony, an you always know what too say when i'm upset ; thanks for being there when Anthony was born , an now for his birthday , you amazing(: thanks;
Holly ; - Thank you for everythin you send too us for Anthony ; you know what its like losing your little angel ; your somebody else that I can talk too , you you understand what I am going through ; its like Anencephaly mother too Anencephaly mother ; it would be hard in i didnt have you too talk too ; thanks for everything you have done for Anthony, Tony && I ; your wonderful , an stay wonderful, i'm sure all the other Anencephaly mothers love youu juss as much as i do<3

Two More Days Left(;

First , I wanna think you Holly ; your so sweet , an thank you for sending us that beautiful card ; we will deffently take it out there too Anthony an read it too him Saturday afternoon ; I'm so scared though , its only 2 days away ;; an i'm not readyy ; i'm juss glad im going too have my friends , an family there with me ; an most of ass TONY ! he's been the beggiest help ever ; people/immature girls where saying that it was good the god took Anthony from me ; that really hate me last night , an had me in tears ; it is was all ova drama ; i got in a fight with a girl , an then after her other friend was liikee it was a good thing God too Anthony from you ; an that was taking it alittlee WAY too far ; buttt I cant believe our little Angel is going too be ONE in two days; ): it went by wayy too fast ;; i'm not ready for our little boy too grow up so fast ; i juss wish we could have him here with us , an him be in our arms during his partyyy ; its going too be the most hardest thing ever ; i'm going too cry the WHOLE time ; ): I'm juss reallyy thankful that i'm going too alwayss have tony by my side , all my wonderful friends on here , myy friends that I know in real life , an my family(: thank yoou everybody ;

Six More Days ):

Anthony's birthdayy is in sixx more days ; its hard too believe ! It's Tony'ss momma's birthday tooday(: she's up there holding Anthhony for us till we can make it up there(: she never got too hold Tony , so she's holding her grandson (: I've prettyy much got his party planned out (: this is going too be REALLY hard on us ; I'm juss glad I'm going too have Tony && All my friends by myside ; I cant wait till Anthony's party(: an again , if you wanna send something , then email me ; ; ;

Anthony's Birthday !!

Well ; As everybody knows Anthony's birthday is 11 days away ! I never knew how fast things went ; it feels like I juss had him yesterday ! I didnt know how hard it was too plan a birthday party . Were getting him a cake , inviting ALL our friends . Getting ballons , an writeing something on them , an letting them go (: I'm getting a photo album thats going too say Anthony's First Birthday Party (: cant wait though . I know I'm going too cry , an its going too be REALLY HARD ! If anybody wants too send anything too us , FOR ANTHONY ! Juss ask me for our Address , an I'll welcomely give it too you , and take ya'lls precents too Anthony(: I cant believe it's already been a year ; May First was juss around the corner ; we love our baby boy(: I wonder if he would be saying momma or dada first ? There is so many questions , an they will NEVER be answered ): I wish we would have never lost our baby boy ): I never knew how hard it was too lose somebody till we lost Anthony ): People always talkin bout its hard , an now I know what their talkin bout . Havin Anthony in our arms for 7 hours an 53 minutes , well I can say those 7 hours an 53 minutes where the best hours of my life !! If your wanting too send somethinng too him , email me at Lil_Tonys_Daddy@hotmail.com an I'll send you our address ! Thanks everybody(:

Anthony is 11 Months on ;

WOW ! Time has went by so fassst ; it seems likee it was juss yesterday that we juss had him in our arms ; would he br crawlin now ? or said mama or dada ; ? i've had some HATEFUL people say stuff bout him ; sayin that I killed him ; an that they can have kids that will live ; an I can't; stuff like that hurts my feelings; ): sorry this is going to be short, but its late ; an I thought i'd update ya'll bout what people say ;