Friday, April 30, 2010

Today's the day ;

well , todaayyy's the day we'vee been waiting for ; MAY FIRST 2010 ; this day is going to be really hard ; feels like im waiting too have hhim , all ova again ): never thought it would be this hard ; but its two in the morning , an i cant even go too sleep , an i havee too be up early in the morning , so we can get everythiinng readyy an get all the stuff we need for Anthony's first birthhday ; i cant believe he's alreadyy ONE ; i never thought it would go by this fast ;; i wonder if he would be crawling right now , talking ? walking ? so many questions that i wish could be answered , but never will be ): thats the hard part of it too , not having your questions answered ; i'm not readyy for all of this ; i'm terrified ; an dont know what im going too doo ; im going too break down , in front of everybody , an thats not something i want too do ; i hope everythhing goes perfect ; we're picking the cake up at noon tomorrow ; an im going too take picturesss of everything , so the wonderful friends i have on here can see what a wonderful birthday parttyyy we had for Anthony ; i wishhh i had an Anencephaly mother down here ; so she could tell me how things went for her baby's first birthdayyy partyyy ; i wish Anthony's headstone would be up for his birthday , but unfortantly , its not ): an the cemetery toook his marker ; which wasnt right , i wish something was there so thatt everybody would see juss where he was ; you cann still see , but there should atleast be a marker or something there ;; they are some hateful people ; i'm hopeing by next year , we'll havee his headstone up ; (: im going on an on bout everything , im so stressed out ; an scared ;


  1. Thinking of you and Tony and Anthony!

    We'll always wonder what they would be doing at each stage of life. What they would look like and what would their personality be. Definitely take pictures! I want to see them!! :)

    You really don't know how the day is gonna go. I thought I was going to cry but surprisingly I didn't. But I did do a lot of it leading up to her day. If you do cry, it's ok. It's a BIG day for your little boy.

    I'm sorry you don't have an anen mommy near you. That would help out a lot! My hubby and I have a couple that we get together with once in a while that had their anen baby April 6, 2009. They live about 45 min from us.

    For Carleigh's birthday, we had a party and invited everyone we knew. I was so grateful for all the people who came but I was also disappointed for the people who didn't. But then I remembered it's not about them. It's about Carleigh. We had food and cake and did a balloon release at the cemetery.

  2. It all turned out so nice! I had someone come and take pictures and I just got to see them and they turned out so good!! I should have them up maybe next week or the week after on Carleigh's blog.

  3. I'm sorry that his headstone isn't up. Why did they take down his marker? That doesn't seem right. Can you put Anthony up to mark that he's there til his headstone is there? It's hard to see nothing there. I didn't like seeing that with Carleigh so I was so excited when her headstone was finally up.