Friday, April 17, 2009
2 Weeks To Go.
Only two more weeks to go. Its not that much farther away! I am deffently scared. I don't know if I am ready for him to come out. It is going to be so hard if Anthony doesn't make it, and when I come home I am going to see my precious little nephews Cayden and Aiden. I am going to see my sister be a perfect momma to her baby boys, and mine might not be with me for me to be that good of a momma to Anthony. I might not get to see his first smile, hear his first laugh, or when he starts to try to talk. I might not get to see all that happen with Anthony but I watch my nephew do all of that. I watch my little nephew run around, it is going to make me wanna break down, I still pray that Anthony will be as strong as he is now, and get to make it through all of this. He is an amazin baby! So are all of those other angels that have/had anencephaly. That is much as I can update for today, but I will update more tomorrow.
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Yes, it may be hard to see your little nephews but it might not be either. Some moms struggle w/ seeing newborns or pregnant women. I can tell you that seeing babies or pregnant women doesn't bother me. My one cousin just had her baby and my other one is set to give birth in a few weeks. I'm not sad but happy for them. It's ok either way. Everyone expresses and experiences grief differently. Anthony is amazing indeed and very luckly to have such a great mommy! It's ok to be scared. I felt that way. I knew as long as Carleigh was in my belly she was safe. Coming out inevitably meant she would die and that's something I wanted very much to avoid. Carleigh was born still but there was such a peace in the room.
ReplyDeleteBaby girl I knoooow I may not express that I care and that I'm there buuuut I AM here anytime you need me and I am soooo proud of you for making the decisions you have and the way that all of this mess has made you grow into such an amazing Mommy, Sister, Aunt annnd person! You're stronger than I could have ever imagined. And I know when I lost my first baby I was so upset when Mom had Brandon and Sara got pregnant buuuut I got through it and now I have two precious and healthy boys and no child will ever replace Lil Tony buuuut you'll get your chance to be the Mommy you've always dreamed of one day. But reguardless on the outcome you're a Mommy and will always be one! I can't wait to meet my precious and beautiful nephew whether its 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days 5 years or 50 years he will always have a piece of mine as well as everyone elses heart! I love you very much!
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